The Waves Create And Cancel.

Hello everyone.... Anyone? Well if there is no readers than to myself. My title today "The Waves Create And Cancel." is brought to you by a song. The song? Well it is titled "Holocene" and it's sung by Bon Iver. Great wonderful song. And I'm not surprised to find out that Holocene is a geological division that started about 12,000 years ago and is currently going right now. Okay I was surprised because I didn't know the meaning until I looked it up just now. But it didn't surprise that it is the present because that is exactly where the song brings me. At first I didn't notice it. I was working away at looking for National Delegates to represent my cause. And that is a totally different conversation. But as I worked I noticed a clarity in my mind. Words became colors. Not in a acid trip way but in a way that a beautiful picture or view etches in your mind. And for me it the colors.

Now back to my title. Lets say your mind is a pond. Or a huge lake if you have a small mind complex. But your mind has waves, ripples of ideas... Hundreds of thousands everyday Each idea and though is like throwing a pebble. You see a splash and you see the aftermath of the ripples.... Now a problem I have is my mind gets it's ripples and I have a hard time following them because of the the other ripples that are crashing into it and as I remember in High school physics when two waves of the same size and frequency meet they cancel each other out at the moment when ones peak meets the others trough... Bam! Stillness However if the two meet at the same time of the wave cycle it amplifies the wave.. Making it easier to ride. And as the song reads
"....and at once I knew I was not magnificent.
High above the Highway aisle
(Jagged  vacance, Thick with ice)
I could see for miles, miles, miles."

It's a great feeling to have the calmness and the heavy waves. I love the fighting and the passionate thoughts. It is the seed inside me that I relate my being with. After all I am a tiny spec on the grand scheme of things however I feel so powerful to be able to think and feel this way. I love life.

And this writing was brought to you from 2 of my passions science and music... Much love.

La Llorona

I remember as a child our dad use to tell us the story of the time he saw La Llorona (Weeping Woman) As legend has it (And I just found out) La Llorona is the spirit of a mother that drowned her two boys and now she wanders the banks of rivers looking for them and crying. But he would tell us that one night he was walking and he heard a woman crying by the river so he went over to the sound and he saw the woman hunched over crying saying "Ay, Mis hijos" (" Oh, My Boys.") He went over to her and talked to her after and then scary stuff happen. lol. I can't seem to remember anything after that. I think my mind truly blocked it out. I'll get the whole story again. Just thought I'd post what was on my mind.

Okay update. I call the old man and asked him to tell the story again. And actually this didn't happen to him, but the his friend's Uncle who lived down in New Mexico. And as the Uncle was walking home. He was crossing a bridge at night. He heard the faint sound of a baby crying. He looked down on the bank of the river he saw a baby bundled up in a blanket. So he ran down to the crying baby. Pick it up. He then unfolded the blanket away from the baby's face. As soon as he did that the baby stopped crying, looked at him as said in a low scratchy voice "Mirada. Tengo las garras y tengo los dientes." meaning "Look. I have nails (as in claws) and I have teeth." Well needless to say this scared the hell out of him. So he put down the child and ran home. They went back the spot in the morning but there was nothing to be found..... It's funny because as he was telling me this story over the phone he kept saying... "Uwe... I just got the chills" He said that about 3 times telling this story again. He then shared a few more ghost stories But those are for some other time.

Screw knocked tight.

Well It's been awhile since my last post.... But I type again. Well to tell the truth I got into a fight the other night. I mean a actual throw down caveman fist fight. I was pretty fun... But here I am almost a week later and I have caught a bug. Or in that fight I had a screw knocked tight. Because I always love this curious/ busy mind feeling... It's the creator. He's back. It's the little voice in me that isn't afraid of anything and encourages me to create without holding back anything. So.... I am dipping back into the fun world of electronics. It's been a long time since I seen a schematic but I have ideas.. And I need to figure them out. Please be on the look out for fun new creations. If my hair brain schemes pan out.

Puscifer ~ the Green valley is my new favorite song.

Last night Nov. 9^th of 2011 the Puscifer concert was at the Capitol Theater in SLC and after walking from a long echoing parking garage we stood in line to get in. Polishing off a flask of Jack Daniels my buddy Rick had brought to keep us warm. We finally get in to be frisked by security. We headed up the long, almost 100 year old staircase. Our seats were in the “nose bleed” section, but a capacity of 1300 there is no horrible seat. We sat down…. Now right here I am not going to tell you a lick of what the show was about but rather where the show took me. And seriously it was quite a ride... I walked out the theater at 10:30 last night and I'm still in the zone..... The dude (Maynard James Keenan) is amazing. His band could hold the weight of the universe on their shoulders. But really.. If the world were to be attacked by Demon monkeys from outer space and the only thing that could save the whole earth is kick ass music.... My vote is for all 6 of them to be there.... They threw out so much energy it was hard for me to sit still in my seat...... But the stage crew made the show also.... The lighting was just as much as an emotional ride as the music... Plus add the romance of the Capitol Theater stage.. The show as nothing less than epic.... And I know the term "epic" is thrown around these days like a old shoe.. But I mean epic as in the term explained in Webster. I did find some parts a little drug out making them boring but when taken into the show as a whole. I wouldn't change a thing. I like to think of the show similar to the movie "Paranormal Activity". In a way the movie was good. And it had its scary parts but when it was over you walked out the theater thinking it was a good movie... But it wasn't till you got home late at night until you really noticed the movie's effect on you... Every sound and shadow started to raise the hairs on the back of your neck. I remember walking down the stairs thinking..."wow"... But that was it... My mind hadn't wrapping around it completely yet. But then this morning I started to play the CD "condition of my parole" again... My mind started working again realizing really how great of a show it was. This is one show I will never miss again... And it’s a show you all should see at least once. Now I cannot say you would feel the same way I did. But for me it was everything I love about music, art, and the human experience. Lol. Sounds like a lot but really this is the only way I can explain it to make sense to anyone was not in my mind, listening with my ears, looking with eyes, and feeling the bass beat hitting my chest... Really I can go on and on... But my words couldn't justify it. It was a good show. But for me every piece of a puzzle was in place. The sound, the lights, the stage, the characters, my mood, and a huge part was my mind not knowing what to expect... And from what I hear Maynard keeps changing everything up so you will never get the same show. That is all I have to say about it right now… 

Peace, love and happiness to all of you.

The Bottomless Abyss

 This is a old story I posted on Facebook. Well its relevance has sprung up again.

"My Friend Keith Allmon wrote on his wall " Separated from you by a mere two feet of empty air... separated by a bottomless abyss I have no bridge to cross..." Very poetic and power statement. I am unsure in what context he use it in. But I took it as words to a loved one. Words stating We are so close but the distance may well be miles away.
Well then my mind starts turning on. My synapse are firing as if my mind were a Christmas tree on Christmas eve. I start thinking about the many situations I have been in where I could have used these very words. Then I start to think that almost every relationship can use these words at some point in time. My focus moves to the part where he states "I have no bridge to cross..." It strikes a chord in me... A chord that rings so true it is scary. That line hurts me. It hurts the loved one. However it also protects me. It says "I want to be close to you. But as you see I have no bridge to get to you." It reminds me of a simple line I wrote years ago saying "Let me open the little cracks that separate us so I can make impossible to love you." I remember it so well because I lived it so well.

Well as you all know if you know me, I have been trying to turn a new leaf for a while now. So now I am thinking of the line "I have no bridge to cross..." My mind thinks "Jump". Run as fast as you can and try to jump over that bottomless abyss... So I had a chance once..... I ran toward it as fast as I could... I closed my eyes and as soon as I hit the edge I jumped as hard as I could.... Well folks I didn't make it.. It never worked out. Everything I saw on that other side disappeared... It was long gone. But as soon as I was done mourning the loss, I noticed that the scene had changed. I was falling.. It was scary. I felt out of control. but I realized that this is a bottomless abyss. it has no end. I can fall for the rest of my life. And furthermore there are people here falling with me. I can find myself easily being next to them in love because there is no longer a gap between what I want and what they want. Now the obstacle and the art is falling with each other at the same speed. And holding on so we don't drift apart....

Wow I fell pretty damn lucky and enlightened right now.... And if anyone reads this long ass note in it entirety I hope you feel somewhat the same way.... Please comment your thoughts and share."

This weekend = Halloween Mahyem!

Wow what a weekend. And for your info 26.6% of that last sentence was "W". A little over 11 times the use in the English language (2.36%). LOL. I was called a nerd yesterday and they may be right,  But I still can kick some ass.

Back at the ranch, Friday we took the kids to a corn maze, which was a great time for everyone.

There was a huge slide plus a haunted corn maze and a sub-plot of young girls for our boys to learn the ins and outs of opposite sex social relations away from technology (priceless).  Truthfully, I must say I can wait for our girls to get old enough to partake in these activities.  We mazed it up and scared quite a few people in the maze because, well, we are kinda assholes and it is fun to scare strangers, lol.

We shuttled our buns home to show our girls the joy of Molly Ringwald in 16 candles!

The next morning we did a little cleaning, breakfast and Jen and I ran to the store to get the final things we needed for Jack and Angel's party, including the haunted house they all set-up in the basement... FUN! So it was a mad rush to get 6 people dressed up and ready, to be honest it was a mad rush for my Jenn (which she did great)... TCB baby... Jack and Angel let us be part of the haunted house.. Man that was fun... Including hearing about all the fog in the basement and the crew laughing and saying that this how a "1000 ways to die" episode is. lol. We all lived and got our party on with great friends.  We got home safely and rested it off until morning and everyone was totally drained but we had pumpkins to crave.... So BAM! we are all outside craving pumpkins. Once again Jen TCB. then more cleaning up and dinner at my parents house. (CAUTION: Corny touchy feely stuff beyond this point.) I must say I am blessed. Have  you ever wanted something in your life but you never knew what it really is?  You know it is something and it is real, but it eludes you for really all your life…

I play it out to my manhood, my warrior inside of me that feels the need to build and to protect and provide. Which I have done that for all my days but now it feels on purpose.  I love it.  I tell my wife that I am a hammer and she is my anvil, as UN-romantic as that sounds it works (stay with me here).  I was swinging at life because that is what a hammer does, sometimes it is constructive and sometimes (most times for me) it was destructive. With Jenn in my life, my perfect supporter and opposition, my perfect anvil,  we can create beautiful things in life. That is exactly what we do..

That's my story... Happy Halloween everyone.

Euphoria?

Today I been just listening to devilishly smooth music of the insanely talented Maynard James Keenan. And one of his projects known as Pucsifur. So needless to say my insides are a heaping pile of musical goo. Building some sort of structure between songs only to be torn back down when the next song starts. I must say I love this feeling. It's almost like a drug induced euphoria. It's the feeling you get in your stomach after you have eaten a really hot pepper. (No not heartburn either) A numbness inside you but you are anything but numb. emotions swirl and mix so to choose any one is impossible. Is this Zen? The outside world is free to flow through me. I soak up every sound, every smell, every breeze. and it pours from me just as easy as it came in... It makes me think "Why can't I always feel this way?" But I also think I am defenseless to the world. Open to the great things it has to offer but also the bad. Someday I promise myself that I will be able to come into this mode or mood at will. That is all that is on my mind for now. Have a great weekend....